Dating a younger model……
Every time we open a news article these days, there seems to be a story about an ageing celebrity leaving his wife/partner, to date a much younger woman. In fact, it is becoming so prevalent that we wrote a chapter about it in our book The MANScript.
Why is this? Well, there could be several reasons. The most common thing we hear is, she is either looking for a father figure or a sugar daddy.
Men of a certain age, who have been in a long-term relationship, possibly bringing up a family, having worked hard to achieve what they have, suddenly think their lives have become boring. Precipitously, along comes a young woman who is attractive, seeks their attention, subsequently feeds the ego of a man who thought he would never receive that sort of attention again and suddenly bingo an affair or new relationship begins!
Without any form of warning, he sees an escape into a world that is perceived as free and easy, without what appears to be the boring constraints of normal family life. The intoxication of the new relationship is such that it raises the question as to whether he really is thinking clearly, when he makes the decision to embark on this type of relationship? In his light headed, dizzy new world, no thought appears to be is given to his wife or former partner or family at all.
We are led to believe that the majority of ‘large age gap’ relationships do not survive, which is something, in the words of a woman who contacted us, the ‘old love-struck fool’ doesn’t contemplate. Such scenarios may sound very familiar to you? Would you date someone significantly older than you? Do you see age as just a number? Is it just love?
You may be one of those women who has been left by their husband for the reasons described above? If this has happened to you, the likelihood is that your partner/husband has been led by the love, adoration, not forgetting the sex and being made to feel number one again, to the extent that it moves from the initial attraction to a more developed and deeply emotional state. This is where it gets really worrying. Not only is it about the sex, but feelings start to come into it and at this point the man can find himself in a very difficult emotional situation, whereby he is torn between the old life and what appears to be the amazing new one.
If your partner has left you as a consequence of a similar situation we want to reassure you that you can get through it and come out the other side with a renewed sense of confidence.
Being with someone younger is not always what it is cracked up to be, particularly if the younger woman decides she wants a baby.
The bit of fun that turned into a relationship and wrecked your marriage/partnership, may no longer hold the excitement it once had and inside the ‘old fool’, regret starts to loom. When reality hits, it is often far too late for the older man to escape back to the so called ‘mundane’ life he had prior to throwing everything away for a young woman and……………….. his new exciting life.
Of course, not all age gap relationships end with the man wishing he’d never left his wife/partner and family. Equally, some younger women also face a reality check when having to deal with the family of an older man and the health needs which may increasingly accompany his aging body. Some large age gap relationships are happy, survive and even thrive. From our experience though, these are usually ones that started out not as the result of an affair or where the middle aged man is prepared to have a second family.
If this has happened to you, you must keep looking forward and focus on you and how you can rebuild your life. Take strength from the wisdom and life experiences you have gained and use them to lead you towards happiness and fulfilment.
Read our blogs, stay connected and learn to love yourself. This will help you to stay focussed on YOU.
Watch out for our upcoming blog on older woman/younger man.
With hugs Julia and Jacqui x